They say when you feel down looke at someone who got it worse than you. They are probably right, whoever 'they' is.
I just down feel like looking at others at the moment. Wallowing in self pity seems more appealing.
It'll take some time for this to wear off...
I have a lot of friends who secretly have a live-in maid (usually Indonesian). I say secretly because people, women especially don't like to publicize that they have a maid taking care of their children. There is a feeling of inadequacy in the air when you tell people you have a maid. As if you don't love your children as much since you are willing to put them in the care of an Indonesian lady.
I don't get it.
So, your Indonesian maid is not a person who deserve the benefit of the doubt? So, she doesn't have a heart with the capability of loving your children (never the same as you love your kids of course) too? So, if she's a foreigner then she's definitely going to feed your kids dirt and hit your children when you're not looking? Why so gloom?
Alhamdulillah. I have a maid who is patient with my boisterous toddler. I have a maid who is gentle with my sweet 2-month old boy. I have a maid who can take my mood swings and sometimes prudish nature and turn it into something we both can talk about and laugh at together sometimes.
I am her employer, I am her boss but I also consider myself her daughter-like friend. And many times, I am the one learning from her the art of parenting. She learns from me and I learn from her too.
Without her, I won't be able to have my morning runs. Without her, I won't be able to have my me time to keep me sane. Without her, I won't be able to go for circles or talks and have a peace of mind enough to listen to what is being discussed. Without her, I won't be able to do a lot of things. When I am able to do something good (unrelated to motherhood) because of her, I will send a small prayer that she will receive some of the rewards (pahala) too.
Don't get me wrong. WAHM, SAHM, working mommies who look for the best babysitter for their children or best nurseries for their children - they all have my respect in their choices of childcare. But please, take a more positive outlook towards foreign live-in maids.
Yes, there are a lot of very bad apples out there and it's compulsory to be careful. But not all of them are monsters. A lot of them are mothers trying to make a living for their children too. They are all human beings.
Yes, you are taking a chance with them but aren't we all are in life?
Our parents generation and the generation before that were taught that if you don't study hard, if you aren't successful in your studies - you will not go far in life, you will fail. How do you get a good job with a good salary without good results? That was how we were brought up too.
And so we grew up having a mindset that a good 'secure' job is everything in life. We grew up thinking that it doesn't matter if you have a poor attitude or you cheat and lie or you let others down as long as you succeed. And once we get a good job, then everything will be great. Or so we thought.
We forget that Rizq is not just the money we have, the food we eat or the clothes we wear - Rizq is also the happiness and contentment we experience in our life in everything that we do. The baraqah we feel is also a form of Rizq, the best form. And that is not from having a good job with a huge payslip.
It comes from how sincere we are with what we do, how kind and considerate we are to to others, how we make it a point to share our time and our wealth (note: time is so much more valuable than wealth in reality) with others less fortunate than us - ultimately from being thankful with every little thing we were given.
The world is full of corruption now because we have forgotten what it means to be human and what's truly important in life. And that is what we should teach the next generation. That is real education.
Straight A's? It's doesn't mean anything if you are not a good person who's sincere, kind to others and fight for a greater good. That's the legacy we should leave our children with.
P/S: Woke up thinking who I want my sons to grow up being and end up writing this. May Allah guide them always. Ameen.
So-called desensitization by pictures of massacres.
What do YOU SEE when you look at the pictures? What actually goes through your mind? What thoughts do you allow to go through your mind?
I see my own child lying in a sea of blood. I see a future shattered by shrapnels. I see souls of innocent children already playing in the gardens of paradise.
And it moves me. It propels my inner being to live my life a little bit better. To remember God more often. To be more patient. To be good to those around me. To be kinder, gentler. To overcome my negative sentiments. It changes me. Little by little. Bit by bit.
I don't think it will ever desensitize me. I hope not.
I believe it's changing me - to be a better human being.
Sometimes I too wonder why women remember everything and connect everything with everything else. It's a trait that men find intriguing yet annoying at the same time I feel.
I don't think it's a good thing holding a grudge but I think God made us that way because with it we are able to love endlessly. We are able to remember every sweet memory and emotions of our children growing up and that in turn churns the well of love we have for them till we die.
And because we are able to feel such depths, we are also able to forgive repeatedly. We women usually don't forget but we have this ability to forgive again and again and again without ever being tired of forgiving. That is why we will be able to always forgive our children and continue loving them despite how they may have hurt us.
For every weakness behind it is a hidden strength.
I feel men should learn to understand this and embrace it with an open heart...
:)
"Vulnerability is the essence of love. It's the art of being uncalculated, the willingness to look foolish, the courage to say, 'This is me, and I'm interested in you enough to show you my flaws with the hope that you may embrace me for all that I am but, more important, all that I am not."
- End quote
Why is it so hard to show people who you truly are and be comfortable with it?
We live life with all this aspirations in mind, thinking we can fulfill all our dreams and be the best that we can be. We have this ideal picture of who we should be or perhaps, who we want others to see us as.
And then, suddenly we don't recognise ourselves anymore. It is like a huge part of us is hidden from the light of day by our own fear of being vulnerable. Scared that beneath it all, people will see an imposter.
Can we find happiness again? The key I think is to be real. To be true. To find yourself again and to love yourself for who you truly are. And to find the courage to move on and build yourself again.
It's hard. Because we are embarrassed. No matter how good or confident you portray yourself to be you somehow always feel like it's not enough.
But you have to. You have to find yourself again. Because you are worth it. God knows you are worth it. You just have to believe in that too.
That is how life is.
